Temptation

I'm standing on the corner waiting,
waiting in the rain.
I look down and see a blade and can't help but think I'm tempted by fate.
That was the only thing that I used,
to take away my pain.
Now i stand waiting with the rain dripping down my face.
Contemplating my actions
I think about fractions.
I think about dividing my veins in two.
I think about leaving.
I think about giving in to
temptation.

R.I.P

Gone but not forgotten,
your memory will forever live on.
Your voice replaying in my head
as if it were a bad song.

Everyday we all loose friends
but new ones come along.
The way that you left us,
was the worst of all.

I cannot help but let
these tears fall from my eyes
as the thought of you looking down on me from up above.

We're all left here wondering why
someone like you had died.
We all wish you were here
but now only your memory lives on.

R.I.P Yolanne

Before

I remember before,
when I couldn't find the words,
the words to describe,
describe the way I felt
because my feelings were unknown,
even to me.
Now that I've finally found them,
it seems too late.
To late to make things right by me and you,
because the feelings you once had
are no longer true.
Before when you said those words I believed you,
you said them with such sincerity,
they had to be true.
But now I realize it was all a game,
I'd been played for a fool.
Left there with my feelings hanging out there,
out there to b crushed.
But they weren't.
I took them all in.
I took them in with hope that someone would,
just as you did,
before.

Why

Why speak when no one will listen?
Why waste words that only seem to fall on deaf ears?
Why wake up everyday when everything in you wants to take an endless nap?
Why not cut a little deeper?
Why should I live,when I'm not worthy of my flesh?
Why breathe when every breath I take is of this filthy air?
Why try to make friends when I'd rather be alone?
Why continue to post my feelings when the person I really want to see them,doesn't know my blog exists?

Late Nights

Late nights always make me think.
Think about the past,
and what I miss the most.
They make me think about how empty I aM,
I'm almost like a ghost.
I have nothing left,
and it makes me cry.
Suddenly a river of tears
are pouring from my eyes.
An endless cycle,
one I hope to end.
But late nights return,
and the tears begin again.

NOt even a smile remains

The good times come and go
So do the people around me
But not even a smile remains

I hide my face in shame
As the tears begin to fall
then u make it all better
But I dont feel at all
Not even a smile remains

No matter what you do to piss me off
No matter how mad I may get
You seem to make it all better
Yet nOt even a smile crosses my face

You see within my eyes
And look past that crooked smile
U try to make me happy
Even for just a while

You persist even when nothing works
And quite frankly
I feel bad

That no matter what you do
You can't erase my feelings
Of being sad
And through it all

Not even a smile remains.

Tired

I'm tired,
Mentally,physically, and emotionally.
I'm tired of pretending.
Pretending that everythings okay,
And it isn't killing me to stay.
Stay in a place where I fear I don't belong.
Where I fear no one knows the pain I do,
So no one understands.
Understands why I do the things I do,
and understand that somethings I cant control.
Understand that even some things
Time can't erase.
I'm just so very
Tired!

It seems like nothing makes me smile,
And everything makes me cry.
I'm reminded of the fun we had
And your love that was a lie.
You said thoes words,
But how much of it did you mean.
Now your with a new girl,
And expect me to be green?
I've slowly learned
You don't even know what thoes words mean.
Now all I dO is pity you
Because you've lost something real,
And you will Neva really truly know
The way that I feel!

Choices

We all have to live with the choices that we've made.
But why are my choices driving me insane,
all of them seem to release so much pain.
Truly feeling alone in this world i realize one thing,
that I dont know what im missing.
So all along i've been sriving to find something
that may never exist,
or may never have existed!
So now i dont even know why i've persisted.
Now i have to face the fact that the choices i've made,
may have taken me away from the one thing I want,
the one thing i've been missing all along!
And now i have to live with it...my choices.

*Thought*

I feel more alone than ever...
its like im the only one on the face of the earth or
everyones here, but no one will acknowlege my pressense.
It's like i dont even exist!

All I Know

Sleepless nights are all I know,
awake and alone i lie.
I lay with tears rolling down my face,
on my pillow they collect
as do my thoughts.
I drift away into a world where I have no problems
or worries.
Now tears arnt all I shed.
Dripping from my wrists are my problems.
They leave while adrenaline enters,
a complete state of euphoria.
The only happiness I've known,
for the moment.
But the sleepless nights return...